How the Conflict in the Taxi Ended

In a recent newsletter I related a true story of conflict that happened in a taxi on a cold night in Boston. If you haven’t read the story, click here to read it before continuing (it takes 2 minutes or less).

So, how did I respond when the driver spewed, “No! You said Hampton Inn at the airport!”

I first took a deep breath to keep from lashing out. After all, my family was in the backseat and it was important that I not do anything that puts them in danger. I knew that more than my (now nervous) wife was in the back seat. Three little ones were watching what Dad was going to model.

I looked into the driver's eyes, replied firmly but respectfully, “No, I said Monsignor O’Brien Highway. Take us to the Hampton Inn on Monsignor O’Brien Highway, now.”

He wasn’t happy but he did take the next right turn. We were suddenly in a dark, rough looking neighborhood that I’m sure didn’t do much to settle my wife’s nerves!

I pulled out my cell phone and called our hotel. In a voice loud enough to make sure the driver heard, I asked the front desk approximately how expensive a taxi fare from our origination to the hotel should cost. I repeated the answer out loud, “Did you say $15? Thank you.”

The taxi fare was already over $20, with at least 10 minutes to go.

As if I thought he hadn’t heard me (you never know with this driver!), I calmly but firmly told him, “I will be paying you $15 for this trip.” I didn’t have to speak his language to understand the essence of what was said under his breath.

I didn’t respond.

We were never so happy to see a Hampton Inn. The family poured out of the backseat with a collective sigh.

The driver knew he wouldn’t get his $35 taxi. Much to his surprise, I pulled out a $20 bill and told him to keep the change. A bit stunned, he responded, “I’m sorry for the mistake.”

Not all conflict ends quite this amicably. Enjoy it when it does. Though I don’t naturally use a Competing conflict style often, a controlled version of it worked in this case, followed by a Compromising pay out at the end.

We can help you learn to manage conflict with more confidence. Our Beyond the Rock and the Hard Place can be delivered in a keynote, workshop, or e-learning formats. Click here for more information.

Labels: Beyond the Rock and the Hard Place, conflict, crisis, influence, leadership

posted by Andy at 11:57 AM

Leadership Lessons from Howard Tullman

Crain's Chicago Business recently posted a short video from Howard Tullman that I recommend you take the time to watch. I appreciate the clarity in which he communicates the essence of what it means to lead. Though his lessons are tuned for entrepreneurs, they can easily apply to anyone who leads, whether a team, a department, or an entire company.

Key lessons to highlight include:

• Mistakes are inevitable. Admit, fix, and forget them. One of the great frustrations as an executive coach is to work with someone that tries to be so perfect that they won't make a mistake. Clearly that's impossible. We regularly work with our kids on this: when you make a mistake, admit it. Fix it. Then get past it. Learn from them, for sure, but you can't obsess over them or you will not lead.
• It's about winning, not being right. In our e-learning workshop "Beyond the Rock and the Hard Place: How to Deal with Conflict More Effectively", we talk about the difference between positions and interests. Too often people get wrapped up into their positions, having to be "right." I like how Tullman states "It's about winning, not being right."
• Tell a simple story: who are we, where are we going, and why. I find many aspiring leaders who are "how" people: they want to cut to the To-Do's and tasks right away, without first figuring out the "what". In our customized leadership workshops we coach leaders to first answer "Where?", "Why?" and "What?". Once leaders answer those questions, then you can get to the "How?", "Who?" and "When?". Click here for more information about how our customized leadership workshops can help your organization develop leaders.
• Keep raising the bar. Keep getting better. Celebrate successes but don't get complacent.
• Don't wait until it's perfect. Start with what you have.
• Look for people who want to build a career, not just a job. Presenteeism (employees who are at the worksite regularly, but for a variety of reasons, are not producing as they should) reportedly accounts for 80% of lost productivity. One of my biggest staffing fears is not those who leave, but those who have left but are still with us.
• Surround yourself with people who are different from you. It took me too many years to figure this one out. Now I cherish the principle, which helps me from driving over a cliff in business.
• Having to fire people comes with the job. It can be done respectfully, but if your desire is to be popular, it will get in your way.
• Part of a leader's job is to be an absorber of uncertainty and anxiety. Things can be ambiguous, but as a leader, we must continue telling the story, keeping people focused on the vision and direction. If we are freaking out when things get tough, it will simply spread the anxiety and be a distraction. In my book Navigating the Winds of Change: Staying on Course in Business & in Life I talk about the concept of keeping your eyes on the horizon when the wind and waves are raging. It's not only good advice for sailors: it works for leaders as well.

I commend Mr. Tullman's video for your viewing pleasure and personal development.

Labels: anxiety, Beyond the Rock and the Hard Place, conflict, crisis, executives, leadership, managing change, mistakes, recommended sites, strategy, teams, uncertainty

posted by Andy at 2:34 PM

Silence is deadly (for projects and teams)

If you've been around projects long enough you know the drill... There are real problems being encountered but everyone above you seems to either be unaware or uninterested in grappling with them.

Denial is a powerful defense mechanism but rarely an effective project management strategy.
Eventually there's a project crisis. Rinse and repeat.

Since we regularly help organizations deal with issues related to these, I was pleased to read some recent results from research performed by VitalSmarts and The Concours Group. They surveyed more than 1,000 executives and project management professionals across 40 companies in a wide variety of industries.

Their Silence Fails study found direct correlations between our willingness and ability to speak up about issues and how successfully we deliver projects. The five most lethal issues that don't get discussed are:

• Fact-free planning. Failure is nearly predestined through insufficient acceptance of reality when it comes to timeframes and resources. The problem isn't that the limitations exist. The problem is people won't discuss the reality.
• Absent without leave (AWOL) sponsors. What happens when the sponsor doesn't lead? Can we talk about that? If not, prepare for failure.
• Skirting. When people skirt around the predefined process, we're often left with the resulting scope creep. If we can't discuss how this impacts projects, we'll likely soon be discussing why the project failed.
• Project chicken. We know we're late but we also know another team is late so we don't speak up. It's a deadly game that happens way too often. And the result? It's not pretty.
• Team failures. Just because we put people on a team together doesn't make them a team. Do we perpetuate the dysfunction by pretending everything's fine or do we intentionally work to improve the team dynamics. The answer can significantly impact a project's success.

Does your team or organization struggle with these issues? Contact us today about our Lipstick on a Pig: How Illusion Leads to Crisis in Real World Projects keynote. It's perfect for a company meeting, offsite, or retreat.

We discuss these dynamics in more detail, including practical ideas about how to break out of the rut of failure caused by illusion. Contact us today for more information.

Labels: crisis, denial, Lipstick on a Pig, planning, project management, project sponsors, risk management, teams

posted by Andy at 12:17 PM

Leaky Decisons: Illusions that Led to the Great Chicago Flood Crisis

Our Lipstick on a Pig keynote is based on an insightful quote by Jerry Weinberg: "It may look like a crisis, but it's only the end of an illusion."

For those of us who have a passion for getting things done, delivering projects, and leading people, there are powerful lessons to be learned by exploring the illusions we face.

Charles Leroux provided an entertaining and insightful look (Chicago Tribune link no longer available) into a crisis that gripped the Chicago area: the Great Flood of 1992. It clearly illustrates how illusions led to the crisis that cost the area an estimated $800 million.

Do you have an upcoming company or department meeting that would benefit from an entertaining, business-focused keynote? Give us a call to get our Lipstick on a Pig keynote added to your meeting agenda!

Labels: crisis, culture, illusion, keynotes, Lipstick on a Pig

posted by Andy at 1:46 PM