How to Say "No" (Without Saying "No")

So, how do you say "No" when doing so feels like it could be, say, a career limiting move? Advice abounds, often over-simplifying the stakes by not taking into account the complexities of saying "No" to someone like a boss or by not giving specific enough strategies.

In a recent newsletter article I give some practical ways to say "No" without saying the letters N-O.

Here's your chance to join the conversation: How do you handle situations when everything inside of you wants to say "No", but there are other pressures to say Yes?

Add a comment to this blog entry to share your insights.

Labels: accountability, conflict, denial, executives, influence, leadership, managing up, project sponsors

posted by Andy at 12:03 PM

Career Advice from the Top

Part of our leadership development approach is to give participants an opportunity to interact with top level executives. We have found enormous value in getting aspiring leaders face-to-face with people who are sitting in the chair and to learn from their successes and mistakes.

A recent CIO Magazine article shares some career lessons from top IT executives. Regardless of whether or not you are in IT, each of the brief entries provide insights that can be helpful to your career development.

Is it possible we get too comfortable? Or perhaps think we must have our entire career mapped out like a project plan? Is it a good career move to take the hit for a failed project? How important is it to actually be interested--even in love--with what you do? The article shares insights on these topics and more.

Interested in taking your career to the next level? Our Leadership Fast Track Program can be an important next step to prepare you! Click here for details.

Labels: accountability, executives, Information Technology, leadership, managing up, mistakes

posted by Andy at 7:54 AM

What Shamu Can Teach You About Your Boss

One of the dirty little secrets of managing is that, over time, you'll do more managing up and out than down. But that's easier said than done. What are some important lessons learned about managing up?

I recommend Dan and Chip Heath's article in FastCompany entitled, "Your Boss is a Monkey". They take lessons from Amy Sutherland's book What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage and apply them to managing "another irritable mammal: your boss."

A couple observations that aligns with how we coach leaders:

• Every interaction is training. We are constantly sending out signals to those we work with. I'm not talking about some mystical energy here. Rather, we are constantly reinforcing lessons to those around us. If we let Bob slip in 2 hours late each morning without any discussion, you've taught Bob and everyone else around him a lesson: getting to work on time isn't really that important. If we keep delivering miracles to make up for lack of process in the organization, we reinforce the belief that all that process stuff is a waste of time. What messages have you inadvertently been sending lately?




• Reinforce good behavior! This seems so obvious but we often miss opportunities to catch people doing things right! We can be black belt whiners, for sure. Reinforcing your positive expectations of people can lead to them living and performing up to your expectations. Call out the good when you see it.

I'd like to think that we humans are less susceptible to the type of manipulation that the authors are suggesting. Yet in practice I've seen it work over and over. I'm working with a coaching client right now that is learning to flip her boss a mango when he delegates instead of micro-manages. Over time, I'm optimistic there will be progress.

Keep in mind that the "monkey" article's advice to "ignore the bad behavior" has limitations. There's wisdom in not over-reacting. Counting to 10 (or 100) has saved many careers!

Yet "apparent indifference" does not always "smother the fire." In fact, for some bosses, it will pour fuel on the fire as it sends the signal that you don't care. Though the Heaths discount aligning styles and expectations as techniques, there is enormous leverage in understanding the art and science of such approaches. They are too critical to chalk up as "goody-two-shoe" training grovel.

Want to learn practical skills on how to manage up more effectively? Join our Leadership Fast Track Program starting in June! Click here for details!

Labels: accountability, conflict, executives, influence, leadership, learning, managing up, personality styles

posted by Andy at 10:34 AM

What Shamu Can Teach You About Your Boss

One of the dirty little secrets of managing is that, over time, you'll do more managing up and out than down. But that's easier said than done. What are some important lessons learned about managing up?

I recommend Dan and Chip Heath's article in FastCompany entitled, "Your Boss is a Monkey". They take lessons from Amy Sutherland's book What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage and apply them to managing "another irritable mammal: your boss."

A couple observations that aligns with how we coach leaders:

• Every interaction is training. We are constantly sending out signals to those we work with. I'm not talking about some mystical energy here. Rather, we are constantly reinforcing lessons to those around us. If we let Bob slip in 2 hours late each morning without any discussion, you've taught Bob and everyone else around him a lesson: getting to work on time isn't really that important. If we keep delivering miracles to make up for lack of process in the organization, we reinforce the belief that all that process stuff is a waste of time. What messages have you inadvertently been sending lately?




• Reinforce good behavior! This seems so obvious but we often miss opportunities to catch people doing things right! We can be black belt whiners, for sure. Reinforcing your positive expectations of people can lead to them living and performing up to your expectations. Call out the good when you see it.

I'd like to think that we humans are less susceptible to the type of manipulation that the authors are suggesting. Yet in practice I've seen it work over and over. I'm working with a coaching client right now that is learning to flip her boss a mango when he delegates instead of micro-manages. Over time, I'm optimistic there will be progress.

Keep in mind that the "monkey" article's advice to "ignore the bad behavior" has limitations. There's wisdom in not over-reacting. Counting to 10 (or 100) has saved many careers!

Yet "apparent indifference" does not always "smother the fire." In fact, for some bosses, it will pour fuel on the fire as it sends the signal that you don't care. Though the Heaths discount aligning styles and expectations as techniques, there is enormous leverage in understanding the art and science of such approaches. They are too critical to chalk up as "goody-two-shoe" training grovel.

Want to learn practical skills on how to manage up more effectively? Join our Leadership Fast Track Program starting in June! Click here for details!

Labels: accountability, influence, leadership, personality styles

posted by Andy at 9:00 AM

Leadership Lessons from William A. Osborne

A recent Crain's Chicago Business "Talking Business" episode included an interview with the Chairman and CEO of Northern Trust, Bill Osborne. I've had the distinct pleasure of facilitating training & offsite meetings for the Northern, as well as some executive coaching. You can often learn a lot about a leader by what people in their organization say about him or her. Here are some things I consistently hear people say about Bill:

• "He's so personable."
• "He's very approachable."
• "He doesn't talk down to you."
• "He's very down-to-earth."
• "He's sharp. He knows the business."

Here are some notes from the brief video:

• You're not a leader if you're not respected. We continually need to be reminded that we're not a leader simply because of our title. In many of our leadership workshops (such as Influence & Accountability for Project Success), we discuss the difference between positional power (you follow me because of my position) and personal power (you follow me because of who I am). There are times when leaders need to exercise their positional power, but the most effective leaders for the long-term are those who have a well-developed arsenal of personal power. One of the keys to increasing your personal power is increasing the respect others have for you, and respect is something that is earned day-by-day, decision-by-decision, one interaction with a person at a time. Contact us to learn how we can help you better develop your influence.
  

• Leaders are visible and accessible. Bill spends half of his time visiting offices, meeting with employees. I don't remember meeting a partner (what the Northern calls their employees) who had been with the organization for more than a year that has not met Bill. We coach leaders to Manage By Wandering Around, which sounds a lot like Manage By Walking Around, with some subtle differences. Wandering implies less of an agenda, with the true agenda being available for interaction. The ivory tower syndrome hits too many leaders, often due to death by meeting. Certainly you are required to participate in more than you share of meetings, but you must carve out time to be on the floor, available to team members.

• Leaders listen to all levels. I appreciated Bill's comments about not simply listening to his direct reports. It's been observed there's an inverse relationship between someone's level in the organization and their ability to see reality! We can joke about that, but the truth is that reality is often obscured in the executive ranks because the food chain under them overly massages the information to the point that it bears only a shadow's resemblance to the original message.
  

• Leaders learn from others. Though Caterpillar and Northern Trust are quite different enterprises, Bill provides a good example of how serving on the Caterpillar board has benefited his business. Too many leaders have the mindset that they already have the answers, and stop actively working to learn from others. In discussions with friends and colleagues in other companies, ask them questions about the business. Try to understand the business models and operating principles. Intentionally watch for ideas you can apply to how you manage your areas of responsibility.

I strongly suggest you invest the time to learn from one of the great leaders in the banking industry, Bill Osborne.

Labels: accountability, executives, illusion, leadership, learning, listening, reality

posted by Andy at 4:22 PM

Almost like O.J. Running Through the Terminal

Here's the situation.... My son and I have boarded an American Airlines flight, headed for Miami. He realizes he doesn't have his coat with him. We suspect it was left in the Admirals Club(R) but don't know for sure.

We certainly don't need the coat for this trip but we don't want it to be lost. It's too late to try and de-plane, run to the Club, and get back in time for the flight. Missing the flight isn't an option either.

I call my wife who then calls the Admirals Club. A woman named Renee Ribant answers the phone, understands the issue, then goes and finds the coat.

And then the incredible thing happens. She runs to our flight's gate (which was not close), gets there before the airplane door closes (literally within a minute or so), and convinces the reluctant gate agent to bring the coat onboard. As we're about to be pushed away from the gate, a flight attendant hands us the coat.

In a world where examples of lousy customer service abound, I was impressed. I spend enough time in Admirals Clubs to know that the Renee's that work there don't typically have a lot of time on their hands. I intersect with enough service industry people to know many, even if they had the time, wouldn't "O.J." through the terminal for a coat.

But then there's Renee. Guess what will go through my mind when it's time to re-up for my Admirals Club membership this fall?

Do you have a great customer service story? Post it as a comment. It's good for us all to be reminded that "above and beyond" customer service still lives.

Labels: accountability, customer service

posted by Andy at 12:43 PM