Blame: The first reaction?

Something bad happens.... say, to a project that you're working on.... or that causes you to a lose a sale.... or that causes you to somehow look bad. What's your first reaction? Too many times, I've seen myself and those around me turn to one of the longest running games in town: The Blame Game!

Last week's power outages on the East Coast and in Canada provided a perfect snapshot of the Blame Game in action. Rather than focus attention on root causes, most of the buzz was poured into who to blame. A lightning strike in on the U.S. side of Niagra Falls! Yeah, that's it! Oops! No lightning going on that day according to the National Weather Service. Hmm... Well, it must be a lightning problem in Canada then, at least according to New York City Mayor Bloomberg (obviously a part-time meteorologist!) It didn't take long for Hillary Clinton to--here's a surprise--blame it on President Bush. She'll have to ignore Bill Richardson's comments that her husband's administration "yawned about this".

Clearly, the Blame Game is not simply for countries and politicians. We see it regularly when there somehow has to be someone to blame when something goes wrong.

In my workshops and keynotes I occasionally refer to a quote from Jerry Weinberg: "It may look like a crisis but it's only the end of an illusion." What illusions led up to this crisis? How about that not holding utilities accountable for their emergency plans wouldn't come back to bite us? Or that utilities will somehow invest in replacing infrastructure when there are absolutely no financial incentives to do so. Or that our current electrical distribution system can keep up with increasing demands indefinitely without having to put more lines through someone's backyard.

Stack enough illusions up and it's only a matter of time before the lights go out, so to speak. It's not a matter of "if" a crisis will hit... it's only a matter of when.

When (not if) bad things happen, let's work at being the ones who are seeking out and squashing the illusions. The Blame Game might feel good for a couple days, but reality always bats last. If we don't deal with the illusions, they'll simply come back and burn us again. Let's be leaders whose first reactions keep us out of the Blame Game. Let's be illusion busters. Let's make sure the people who report to us do the same, remembering they learn best when they see us model it.

John G. Miller is a best-selling author on the topic of accountability, and has a great formula to fight against the blame game. Instead of asking questions that start with "Who", "Why", and "When", how about asking some "What" questions, with an "I" or "we" close afterwards! "What can I do to make sure this doesn't happen again?" "What can we learn from this?" Learn more about John and his book "QBQ!" at the QBQ! web site.

posted by Andy at 12:04 PM  

"But I can't make as much money if I tried to live my dream!"

Last week I facilitated a 3-day project management class. A side conversation over lunch reiterated what I hear regularly. It goes something like this.... "It's so cool you're living your dream, Andy. I just don't think I could make that leap. I have a mortgage, a family [other excuses go here] and don't think I could make as much money to support our needs."

Too many people stay in a job they dislike because they somehow fear that "the devil they know is better than the devil they don't".

I can understand the hesitation to go from what seems certain to that which is certainly uncertain! If it were not for an incredible set of circumstances, I might have been to wimpy to make the leap myself. Yet now that I'm on the other side, having made that leap two years ago this month, it's abundantly clear to me that the leap to follow your dreams is not nearly the fearful journey through the abyss that it might seem.

I fundamentally believe that the seed of a dream is planted within each of us. We were wired up to be more effective, more fulfilled, more difference-making when we pursue that dream. Yet too often the seed is left untended. It must be watered, fed, and weeded. The busy-ness of life and fear of uncertainty too often keep us from seeing the fruit of the dream.

On this 2 year anniversary of pursuing my dream, here's a blog entry with some thoughts to help you see that fruit in your life:

• Life is too short to waste doing things that mean little to you. If you don't have at least some clarity on the dream to pursue, start taking action. Don't wait another year because that will turn into another decade.


• Look at past performance reviews and comments from bosses and peers. Ask trusted friends. What do they consistently say you do well?


• Do you enjoy doing those things? I mean real enjoyment. When I'm in front of a group of people, whether it's 20 or 2000, and they are connecting with what I'm working to communicate, it is pure enjoyment for me. Now that might sound like total terror to you. That's OK! What do you get real enjoyment out of? Much of the magic is finding that intersection between what you do well, the amount you enjoy it, and your ability to be compensated for it.


• You don't have to make the leap in the next 24 hours! But how about a step? If you have an idea of what you want to pursue, find someone who is doing something similar and start asking them questions. Get an idea of what they like, dislike, the surprises they've encountered, the lessons they've learned. Find a way to do it on the side, if possible, to make sure you really like it.

Often we fool ourselves that our current situation is too secure to look beyond it. Such incorrect thinking can mess with us when all of a sudden the situation is threatened (e.g. possible job loss). May I encourage you to take action this month to start pursuing the dream that has been planted within you?

See "How to Banish Your Fear of the Pink Slip" for some ideas on how to start.

posted by Andy at 11:12 AM